The Suckage of My Twenties

I consider myself to be a chaser of silver-linings. I’m not comfortable in the dark and twisty, and I’m not a super-fan of hangin’ out by myself, even though I am workin’ on it. I can mentally muster the strength to find the good in the bad most days.

For my twenties as a whole? NAH. Pass.

I’m 27. I’m fully confident to report that my twenties have sucked.
The curated world of instagram, with the influencers and their crystals and their latte art, really wants you to know that life is rainbows, but I’m giving myself (and anyone else who needs it) permission: it’s cool if life sucks sometimes. xo. I mean- it’s not cool. It’s miserable.
But it’s common, it’s life, and you’re not alone in the suckage.

What do you mean by “suckage”?

hospital suckage^

Well- living below the poverty line, being sick, taking jobs that are (by the best stretch of my imagination) SHITTTTTTTY, getting acquainted with managing anxiety, realizing that bills just never stop (especially medical bills. like…I just paid you. Why do I now owe $500 WITH health insurance?!). GAAAAADDAMMMMMIT.

evidence of shitty job

I frequently thank God for the future. I also thank God for the present, but I mean… the future has GOT to get better. I thank God for prosperity, and I hang visual reminders and affirmations on my wall. I move my body, eat good things, do the right stuff, and the present is still hard sometimes often.
I thank God for now, strength, resiliency, but I get excited to thank God for future job stress, future co-workers, for future kids, and a life that I have worked hard for (please see: twenties).

In the shower, where I do my best critical thinking, I visualize my mornings that I’m excited to have:
– humid morning long runs earlllllyyyy in the morning, getting into my car: an International Scout with a “Save the Dolphins” license plate. I have to turn the wipers on briefly because of the humidity (I love sweaty, humid, morning runs). My Scout looks like a beach cruiser, and that’s cool because it’s very Stacey- so very me. We live in Texas, because that’s where home is for both of us.
– I get home, and my Zack is waiting for me reading the paper or listening to news podcasts (because he already does this. He’s an old man that I love). He’s overwhelmed about his job(s) in a good way. I tell him that I need to hurry and get an article published for Runners World, because a deadline is approaching. I need to get my morning conquered before I leave for another job/dropping kids off places, etc. WE ARE LIVIN OUR CRAZY DREAMS.
– I visualize our kitchen in detail. It has a huge island, and it’s functional. We have a few moments together before kids wake up (I can hear moms laughing at me, but it’s my future on the BEST day, okay?!).

And I thank God for all the steps it takes to get to this ^ morning. I daydream about it so, so frequently. So, so often. I know being in the present moment is important, but I am a big believer in vivid day-dreams. I’m holding on to this one until it’s a real morning. I promise to update you when it is, but I’m going to need you to be patient with me, because I’m currently in the thick of my twenties, simultaneously wanting them to be over and not wanting to wish time away.

Here’s to overcoming the suckage…one daydream at a time.

Do your twenties suck too? Did they? Did you survive them? HOW?
Do you daydream, too?