Friendly Reminder about Healing

Friendly Reminder about Healing

Healing is.not.linear.

I have learned this with ups and downs of life with a chronic disease.
But this is especially difficult for me to remember with my mental health.

I struggle with anxiety and depression, and I’m currently wading through it with help from a number of healthcare professionals, people who support me, and the #1 role-player…myself!

I woke up a couple of days this week in a fog, sad, heavy…which is counter to my normal, healthy, chipper self. But I’m not apologizing for these bad days, and I’m taking them in stride, going to therapy, journaling, soul-searching, moving my body when I need to, being still when I need to, feeling all the feels, and not feeling bad for the bad days.

Growing up, I carried such guilt when I had a bad day, and my coping mechanism was pretending that everything was finnnnnne and grrrrrreat. I now know that I don’t owe anyone an apology for a bad day, not even myself.

I guess what I’m saying is- give yourself grace, because I’m working on giving myself grace:
-when I KNOW I’ve done everything to feel better; given myself the right amount of sleep, food, #self-care, and I still don’t feel better
-in the thick of it, in my lowest low, feeling like it will never pass. spoiler alert: it will- it’ll wash over
-when I’m panicked for no reason/ when I’m panicked for a real reason
-when I’m tired, weary, and downright depleated
-when I don’t accomplish everything…or anything on my to-do list

Healing is the ups, the downs, the peaks, valleys, rough parts, ins, outs, and all the in-between. But it’s the good stuff, too. I’d like to think the lowest lows help us feel the highest highs with even more intensity and gratitude.

I want to be a sure, steady shoreline that can take on storms, and allow them to wash over. I watch the tide take the storms away, and when they come back, I’m still the shoreline, only this time- I can stand in the storm from a different vantage point from before, because I’m still the shore.
Is that cheesy?
I’m a cheese-ball, yall. I don’t care- this works for me, okay?

And remember- you’re never alone. People are healing all around you, including me.



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Chocolate Cherry Smoothie

Chocolate Cherry Smoothie

My smoothie game has been wicked strong lately.
But I promise not to bore you with all the reasons why
Make this, and thank me later.

1/2 C almond milk (malk brand)

1/2 C H2O

5 frozen wild cherries 

3 ice cubes

1 C frozen broccoli

1 heaping tbsp PB

2 tsp wild honey 

B L E N D

Note: You don’t need to add honey, or any sweetener for that matter, to smoothies when fruit is added. The fructose in the fruit is sufficient enough! But this honey was local, fresh, and delicious, and you better believe I enjoyed every last drop of it.

This smoothie has all the goods to keep you feelin’ full and fine:
Protein (PB + chia topping)
Fat (PB + Milk)
Fiber (broccoli + cherries)
Carbs (broccoli + cherries)

If you’re using this as a post-workout snack, your body needs carbs AND protein to recover optimally. Don’t fear those carbs, Sandra.

Also- I know people are on this whole “fruit is bad for you” craze, and that is BANANAS. Those aren’t your people. Fruit is SO SO rich in phytochemicals, antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals that are all GOOD for your body. As Americans, TRUST me when I say that fruit is the least of our problems. Added sugar? shoot, yeah. We could do a better job here…but don’t demonize fruit, I beg you.


Let me know what cha think of this recipe if you give it a shot!

P.S. THIS study talks about how tart cherry helps accelerate muscle recovery after exercise!

Feelin’ Myself on a Monday Morning

Feelin’ Myself on a Monday Morning

I keep reading books written by entrepreneurs, listening to podcasts by the greats like Oprah, and they all talk about taking control of your morning.

I’m not going to lie. There are some days that I don’t have a handle on things. I’ve been fighting through and sitting with depression and anxiety, and I’m not quite out of the hole and done healing just yet. On the bad days I am giving myself permission and grace to just have a bad day, pure and simple, free from guilt, and if that means that I need to sleep through the morning, or spend all day watching “How I Met Your Mother” re-runs, so be it.

But when I’m on my A-game and feelin’ like myself…I love the mornings. The whole world feels like it’s mine in the morning- unbothered by busy traffic, lines at coffee shops, or the sound of my phone going off. I love the gold light tones of the morning sun, the sound of the birds, and I wake up pretty damn chipper most days.

I have realized that it doesn’t take much to make me feel centered, but I understand what the greats are talking about…having control of my morning makes me feel empowered, fierce, beyonce-like, and ready to conquer the day.

What makes me feel centered and 100% myself? Oh- glad you asked.
music in the morning. Good stuff, like Creedence, Frank Sinatra, or lately I’ve been into Bob Seager (old soul here)
coffee– just a cup, maybe 12 oz if I’m feelin’ like I need a divine intervention. Pretty sure my resting heart-rate is something similar to a hummingbird’s, so I don’t over-do it.
movement. I’m a movement in the morning kind of person- but I understand that not everyone is like that. When I say “movement” I don’t mean crossfit- that’s not true to me, and I get stressed when people are yelling at me to move. I mean walking my dog, doing yoga on the back porch, hitting up a quick barre class, or going for a solo run.
stillness. Headspace app- thank you, Jesus.
creating. I need to write in the mornings. I need to journal, or blog, or hand-letter the shit out of something motivational, but I must create to feel 100%. If I have nothing to give, then I need to read something positive and fueling to my brain.
food. colorful and flavorful, sometimes in the form of a smoothie.

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Pictured above is my vision board in my home office/home gym/ bathroom. It’s a multi-purpose room, but I still set some real, attainable intention. I wrote affirmations that force me to look at them daily, and I printed out photos that remind me of who I am/want to be more of, goals, reminders, etc. If I don’t have visual aids to remind me to set intention and live my fullest freakin’ life, then I’m not sure if I’d remember to do it, and this helps me.

I also realized that I hate fake plants, but I’m keeping the guy anyway for now, because I’m not quite at a place in life where I can nurture a real plant hanging on my wall.

How do you set intention? What brings you back to feeling like yourself?

Buckwheat Porridge for Breakfast + Recipe

Buckwheat Porridge for Breakfast + Recipe

I’m going to give yall a recipe without the BS of my life, what happened for me to incorporate this into my life, and how I’m a better person because of my buckwheat porridge. I feel like a British folklore character for saying “porridge”. If you want to know more about buckwheat, skip to the bottom for nutrition info.

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I’d love to use something environmentally friendly for storage, but I’m slowly getting my life together. This is one area that’s still lacking.

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Buckwheat:
-complex carb = good for energy
-soluble fiber source = slow release of glucose into your blood stream, which means it’s stabilizing for blood glucose!
-Buckwheat is rich in B vitamins and is a complete protein
-whole grain that’s gluten-free. I know people are preachin’ against grains, but that’s bogus. Whole grains are so great for your gut and your heart.

Austin Half Marathon Race Weekend

Austin Half Marathon Race Weekend

Man oh man. It felt so damn good to be back in Austin.

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I have been reading “The Alchemist” (I know- I’m late to the party), and it has me lookin’ for good omens. On Friday, our first day in Austin, we ran into the UT baton twirler from when we were students who was TWIRLING OUTDOORS in this very spot. You guys. It was an omen.

I taught baton twirling in college, and I was maybe her biggest fan. Twirlers are a rare breed, and we literally ran into her, and then stopped to talk to her. Made my day. As weird as that sounds, it was an omen. Not sure what it meant, but it was a good sign- promise.

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We happened to be in Austin for two reasons:
1. Hope! She’s a friend that I met on instagram, and she flew to Texas to race.
2. And race we did! Pictured above, we were at the Austin Half Marathon expo on Friday.

Then we ate. That’s actually what we did the majority of the weekend, but I need to give special thanks to:
-True Food Kitchen
-Picnik
-Hank’s
These places were especially kind about my dietary restrictions, and the food was incredible.

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True Food Kitchen was so enthusiastic to help with my food restrictions. ENTHUSIASTIC. They didn’t make me feel like the difficult customer that I hate to be, and they were fantastic. They helped me craft my own menu item to suit my weird dietary needs, and I left feeling great knowing that the food didn’t contain the stuff that my autoimmune disease won’t let me have right now. If there’s something I can learn from this experience it’s BE KIND to the wait staff, and gently explain/advocate for yourself. Be vigilant. But be gentle, and people will bend over backward to help you and your health.

It was breezy and 80something degrees. We walked back across the bridge to the car and called it a night. Austin, ya look good.

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On Saturday, we ate at Picnik for brunch after a warm-up run, and had a very similar experience to True Food Kitchen- everyone was so helpful. Then we took Hope to see some touristy sites, like the Loop 360 Bridge overlook.

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And stayed hydrated via Juiceland. Pictured here: “The Rehydrator”.

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Sunday morning was race day, and it was a cool, crisp 55 degrees at the start on Congress Avenue. The first three miles were gradually uphill, but we were on South Congress, and there was live music. No complaints! All four lanes of the road were open for runners, so even though the start wasn’t in waves, there was plenty of room. I never felt crammed.

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I HIGHLY recommend running Austin without headphones- there was live music EVERYWHERE, and I loved the course. I stayed hydrated via my own sports drink: water, lemon juice, lime juice, and salt. I brought along banana slices with a smidge of peanut butter and rice cake in my spi belt for fuel once I got to mile 9, and it was perfect. I had previously been a tried and true gatorade gels fan, but I recently discovered that I’m sensitive to the dye that’s on the ingredients list (womp womp), so I have been DIYing my fuel instead, with great success.

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I wrote a positive mantra on myself for the race. I NEEDED this around mile 10 through the finish line, because those hills weren’t playin’. I ran this race because I paid for it, and I love to run. I love a good race- I do. But in all honesty, I had no business running. Let me tell you why:
– Shingles! I had the shingles virus, and while it was (almost/mostly) gone, my energy levels were NOT up to par.
-Symptoms. I had to go off my immunosuppressants to try to heal my body quickly from the shingles virus, and my GI situation was very touch and go.
-Training. My training for this race was very lacking.
-Rest should’ve been priority. Shingles + GI + a rough week of tests in grad school calls for ample rest, and 13.1 miles wasn’t ideal.

If you’re strugglin’- solidarity! One foot in front of the other, friend.

Am I glad I did it though? Shoot yeah. Can’t you tell? Honestly- I had the most fun.

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Hope had a really great race though! A new PR for a half!

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And Zack was at the finish AND a cheer station at mile 9.

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Afterward, we all went to Hillside Pharmacie for brunch, and I inhaled my breakfast and coffee so fast. We sat outside and the wind was COLD! But we had the very best time.

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If you’ve never been to Austin, you should definitely visit, but don’t move there. I’m planning on moving back one day, and there’s really not room for all of us to play.
Sorry not sorry.

Highly, highly recommend running the Austin Half Marathon. The more races I run, the harder it is for me to pick a favorite, but this race is up there. It’s not a fast course- very hilly, but the crowd is great, the live music is unbeatable, and there’s no place I’d rather run than under the sun in Austin on a 55 degree Sunday morning.

Keep moving forward!

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